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Abusive relationships, what I think

Hey,  Hannah here,
A lot of women all around the world get abused every day. Whether in harmful relationships, or toxic marriages, or in the work place. A lot of women are being treated like their lives don't matter and do you know the worst part? They don't do anything about it. They allow themselves to be subdued, though they do not say it, their silence does, they are agreeing that they do not matter.
Many women allow their husbands to treat them like dirt because it shows "respect". What is the deal with our tradition and respect? Respect is fine. It's great when someone respects you and it is important to show respect as well  if you want it reciprocated. In that case, respect is fine but it gets to a point when you need to draw the line. Respect is not when you allow a man to beat you because you burnt the stew (or for any reason, that was just what came to my mind), or when you allow your boss to take advantage of you. That is not respect. Stand up for yourself, take charge of the situation, no one is allowed to take away your rights. 
Some women are scared and that's fine It's okay to be scared, you’re scared of what they will say (society is constantly judging everyone), of what he'll do and its okay. Just remember, it doesn’t matter what he can do to you, what matters is your life. You are choosing to remain in a toxic relationship that could potentially kill you or harm you. Leave the relationship, it's not worth it. 
I am not speaking against men but I am speaking against men who think they are better, or more superior to other women. I am speaking against abusers who victimise women in relationships. I am speaking against the stigmatization of the few brave women who stand up to say "enough is enough" and who refuse to be ruled by close minded men. I am speaking against the Nigerian belief that this abuse is part of our culture it is not. No one, no matter their colour, beliefs, gender anything, deserves to be treated that way. Even if it was part of our culture (which it’s most certainly not), it can change, if there is anything I learnt during Social Studies it is that culture is dynamic, it doesn’t stay still it is ever changing, keeping up with the modern world.
What I always found... interesting is how "possesiveness" in literature, at least in the few romance books I've read (I'm not a fan of romance) and on Wattpad (if you are a bookworm in need of free books to read or a writer looking for some experience or a little bit of both then this is the website for you, you can also download it, too) , is displayed as "cute", if you read a phrase like:
"I don't want you near that boy," Ivan said with a look on his face that said not to ask. Mira simply nodded not daring to question him. 
On wattpad and scrolled down to the comments you will see comments like "Oh my gosh that is so cute" or "he's so jealous, it's adorable" or even "I need an Ivan". I am all confused, yes it's clear he's jealous and that can be a good thing sometime but he has no right to limit her freedom. It's clear that she is scared of him and it's obvious that he is hiding things (wow, all of that from two lines) so their relationship is pretty much useless. He cannot limit her without a good reason. What is so cute about that? Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it.
I understand that I am probably not the best person to speak on this as I have never even been in a relationship let alone an abusive one but I have eyes. I can see it, I can see women being hurt, dying from these relationships, I can see brave broken souls been out casted by society for standing up for their rights and loving themselves more. I have never been in a relationship but I know it takes a lot of emotion and I know it is hard to let go of someone you once loved but you have to be strong, you just have to.
I know may brave women who have taken the risk and have no regrets, my mother inclusive.  You can choose to remain in the relationship forever unhappy or you can leave and be happy, it's all your choice.
I want to speak on harrasment in the workplace. Say, your boss, who is male decides that it's time for a promotion but says he wont give it to  you without you sleeping with him. That is a great example of harassment. I watched another episode of the good doctor where an intern, (a trainee doctor who isn't respected up to a real doctor. In an argument they will likely take the doctors side), Doctor Browne, is harassed by a senior who asks her to go out with him and looked at her threateningly, prior to the asking out, he would unnecessarily touch her and she felt uncomfortable with that and she answered no. He cornered her  and asked her threateningly. Pause. That, that right there is harassment, she eventually refused and she was scared to file a complaint against him because he had more power and they would likely side him, he also had the power to make work hell. In the end, she did, if you are scared, it's ok. Remember you are brave, strong, broken, beautiful. Do it, it will be worth it.
*                                            **                                                   ***

Hey guys! Don't  forget to follow the blog on Twitter at Hannah Kay05 for news and updates on the blog. If you have a problem or an issue or anything you want to discuss you can send an email to thelittlethings58@gmail.com and I will reply. Don't forget to comment! 
I'm Hannah Kay and I'm  just a teenage girl sharing the world the way she views it.

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