Bullying. What does the word make you think of? Maybe you imagine a small weedy boy getting hit by a big beefy boy. And in many ways the image is kind of correct but I like to think of that as "old school bullying". It seems like bullying has evolved from this, its grown bigger and uglier. People still get bullied the old fashioned way and it doesn't make that any less ugly or any less wrong.
We owe a lot; jobs, lives, friendships, relationships etc to the creation of this huge amazing thing called the Internet. Without the Internet you wouldn't be able to read this blog or watch Netflix but as with all good things, something horrible has also come out of it. Cyberbullying. Kids have decided that mean pranks aren't enough, hell no, they have to take it to the next level. There is this Disney Channel show, Binny and the ghost, that I was obsessed with. It's basically about a girl that meets a ghost (surprise!) and they become an unstoppable crime solving team etc. I remember watching an episode where Luca, Binny's best friend, is cyberbullied. Someone hacks into her phone and threatens to send an embarrassing picture of her if she doesn't obey his command and drop a certain amount of money by a tree. When Binny and Melchior (the ghost) solve the case it is found out that the boy has actually been doing it to others.
It doesn't always come in this form but this is a classic example of cyberbullying. a victim is scared out of their wits of what will happen if they do not comply to the terms given by their bully, often times they don't even know who the bully even is. The victim is unable to tell about it because of threats. If you are a victim, stay strong, the person on the other side is most likely lying to scare you. If it seems like that person is serious make sure that you report it doesn't matter what that person is saying they'll do, you don't know how to handle this, its scary as hell but it'll be worth it in the end. Just stay strong, it's okay to be scared but don't let the fear stop you, speak up! If you are feeling pretty brave you can try this crazy thing. Say the person is threatening to post a certain picture of you online, post it yourself. Think about it, the person no longer has any leverage against you. Note: you don't have to do this but it does eliminate any threats but still report it, whether to an adult, on the internet or even to the police, just do it.
I love Ted talks and I watch a lot of their videos, they are inspiration for a number of my blog posts and I dream of one day being able to give a Ted talk. I watched one by Lizzie Velasqeuz, a woman born with a disorder that makes her unable to gain weight. She is constantly being insulted people tell her she's worthless, that she's too ugly and even a stranger, someone she has never met, said "Lizzie, why don't you do the world a favour and put a gun to your head?"
I want to use Lizzie's story to inspire you, just as it inspires me. She has not let people's negativity get to her,she doesn't let them define her they call her a monster but she thinks, "that's not who I am". They may say all sorts of horrible things, call you all sortsd of things that my teeny weeny brain cannot even come up with and you can just sit down ad think "they may call me that, insult me but that is not who I am, they do not define who I am, I do. And while they are thinking of names to call me I'll be writing the codes for a new android or practicing to be the next Serena William and I'll be do things and changing lives because, that's what I do, I'm a wild one(read my post "the wild ones" to understand better)"
I've never really been bullied before but in my first secondary school I was called names. I was the junior with the weird british accent. They, due to how close minded they were, assumed that I was faking my accent and with time, I'd grow tired of it. They called me village headmistress (now that I think about it, it's not that bad of an insult, at least I have the heart to put my money, time, and effort into doing something they wouldn't dare to, that could change some village children's lives. I'm not doing charity work though, it was just something they called me), yellow paupau (because I am fair , that's the local name for papaya. Some may take it as a joke but I don't see how being compared to the inside of a fruit or a spoilt mango is a joke ), local champion, camel toes (I must say, who ever came up with that... wow! that was pretty creative too bad youre not using your brain for something useful. It was because my legs aren't straight so when I stand my feet point in different directions, like a camel's toes). Yes, my bullying wasn't so bad so I don't consider myself an ex-victim. What I was basically trying to say is that people will look for flaws in you and they will try to make you feel bad but it's your choice to let it get to you. You can decide" yes, I am a monster" or "no, these are just sad, sad, close-minded people with nothing better to do than pick flaws when you are doing so much better than them". It's all your choice. I mentioned in my previous blog post about the "Queen Bee" in high school movies. She is just as insecure as you are and is trying to make herself feel better by making you feel worse. Vicious, isnt it? It is going to be hard but remember, it's your choice.
I am sure there are lots more types of bullying but I also want to take the good ol' fashioned bullying. You know, the give-me-your-lunch-money-or-I'll-beat-you-to-a-pulp kind. Sometimes it's not the weedy boy-vs-big beefy bully sort. Sometimes it's the popular kid vs anyone who isn't like him. He's got it in for everybody, and i do mean everybody. It's nothing you did, there's probably something up with his life that is making him so violent. If you are being physically bullied make sure to report. To hell with whatever you are being threatened with, your life matters so much more. Let him sit down at home on suspension and think about his life.
I wanted to put different bullying helpline numbers from different countries all over the world when I realised that even Nigeria does not have one, just one. What is that? We say we want change that we want to move forward yet we are refusing to help the young people in our country who need it. Until the country starts providing for the young, until the government starts thinking about the oppressed minorities, the poor, the children, women etc then will this country move forward. How will there be change when the young people who are supposed to create it are oppressed? I am seriously starting to consider starting a bullying organisation in Nigeria complete with helpline. but I don't want this to simply just be a dream. The problem is where to start? I am just a child but I am speaking. I don't have any money (I'm not old enough to make money out of my blog, not for another five years), but I am speaking. I am all on my own, but I am speaking. I need help to make this dream a reality so I will speak till I grab somebody's attention.
Now it has come to my attention that many Nigerian parent believe there is no such thing as "bullying". Hell yes there is. It surrounds us, nowhere, absolutely nowhere is free from the demon, the irrefutable beast that is bullying. You are being bullied in school when that girl decides that you aren't good enough so she calls you names and gossips and spreads horrible lies, she doesn't have to punch you first. You are being bullied when at work your boss says you aren't going to be promoted till you sleep with him. It doesn't always have to be violent, it just has to be harmful, deny you of your rights, or make you feel inferior, then it's no longer a harmless joke. It's bullying.
Another problem we have in Nigeria with bullying is when we make everything into bullying or turn bullying into something to be ashamed of. At the boarding school I went to after my first one there was anti bullying week every... i don't know actually. But anyway we had anti bullying week and they'd say if you are being bullied, report, but in truth no one ever does, they see it as something to be ashamed of. There are some people in my set and for privacy's sake I won't mention names. They are being bullied, I see it but I cant't do anything about it. I can't forced them to report. Why don't they report? Because often times the bullying is from setmates and they can't bear the humiliation of being unable to stand up to someone their age. That's an issue we have in Nigeria, this "if you don't fight, you're weak", mentality and a lot of bullying victims in Nigeria are scared of being stigmatized or out casted.
Then there's the issue of over doing. In the boarding school several juniors, J1 students, were visiting reporting cases of "bullying". If a senior asks you "can you fetch water for me?" you are given a choice, you can say no. It is not bullying but if you are forced or threatened it's a whole different case. Lot's of people are due to this misconception of bullying. Remember to ask your self:
1) is it hurting me?
2) is it a violation of my rights?
3) does it make me feel inferior?
If the answer is yes to at leas one of these three questions then report it.
I hope that if you are being bullied I have helped, if you ever want to talk you can send an email to thelittlethings58@gmail.com. I will reply and I am almost always ready to talk.
* ** ***
You guys, I have amazing news! The little things now has a twitter account, follow Hannah Kay05 for updates on my blog posts and extra information. Thanks. Don't forget to comment and feel free to share your bullying experiences.
I'm Hannah Kay and I'm just a teenage girl sharing the world the way she views it.
We owe a lot; jobs, lives, friendships, relationships etc to the creation of this huge amazing thing called the Internet. Without the Internet you wouldn't be able to read this blog or watch Netflix but as with all good things, something horrible has also come out of it. Cyberbullying. Kids have decided that mean pranks aren't enough, hell no, they have to take it to the next level. There is this Disney Channel show, Binny and the ghost, that I was obsessed with. It's basically about a girl that meets a ghost (surprise!) and they become an unstoppable crime solving team etc. I remember watching an episode where Luca, Binny's best friend, is cyberbullied. Someone hacks into her phone and threatens to send an embarrassing picture of her if she doesn't obey his command and drop a certain amount of money by a tree. When Binny and Melchior (the ghost) solve the case it is found out that the boy has actually been doing it to others.
It doesn't always come in this form but this is a classic example of cyberbullying. a victim is scared out of their wits of what will happen if they do not comply to the terms given by their bully, often times they don't even know who the bully even is. The victim is unable to tell about it because of threats. If you are a victim, stay strong, the person on the other side is most likely lying to scare you. If it seems like that person is serious make sure that you report it doesn't matter what that person is saying they'll do, you don't know how to handle this, its scary as hell but it'll be worth it in the end. Just stay strong, it's okay to be scared but don't let the fear stop you, speak up! If you are feeling pretty brave you can try this crazy thing. Say the person is threatening to post a certain picture of you online, post it yourself. Think about it, the person no longer has any leverage against you. Note: you don't have to do this but it does eliminate any threats but still report it, whether to an adult, on the internet or even to the police, just do it.
I love Ted talks and I watch a lot of their videos, they are inspiration for a number of my blog posts and I dream of one day being able to give a Ted talk. I watched one by Lizzie Velasqeuz, a woman born with a disorder that makes her unable to gain weight. She is constantly being insulted people tell her she's worthless, that she's too ugly and even a stranger, someone she has never met, said "Lizzie, why don't you do the world a favour and put a gun to your head?"
I want to use Lizzie's story to inspire you, just as it inspires me. She has not let people's negativity get to her,she doesn't let them define her they call her a monster but she thinks, "that's not who I am". They may say all sorts of horrible things, call you all sortsd of things that my teeny weeny brain cannot even come up with and you can just sit down ad think "they may call me that, insult me but that is not who I am, they do not define who I am, I do. And while they are thinking of names to call me I'll be writing the codes for a new android or practicing to be the next Serena William and I'll be do things and changing lives because, that's what I do, I'm a wild one(read my post "the wild ones" to understand better)"
I've never really been bullied before but in my first secondary school I was called names. I was the junior with the weird british accent. They, due to how close minded they were, assumed that I was faking my accent and with time, I'd grow tired of it. They called me village headmistress (now that I think about it, it's not that bad of an insult, at least I have the heart to put my money, time, and effort into doing something they wouldn't dare to, that could change some village children's lives. I'm not doing charity work though, it was just something they called me), yellow paupau (because I am fair , that's the local name for papaya. Some may take it as a joke but I don't see how being compared to the inside of a fruit or a spoilt mango is a joke ), local champion, camel toes (I must say, who ever came up with that... wow! that was pretty creative too bad youre not using your brain for something useful. It was because my legs aren't straight so when I stand my feet point in different directions, like a camel's toes). Yes, my bullying wasn't so bad so I don't consider myself an ex-victim. What I was basically trying to say is that people will look for flaws in you and they will try to make you feel bad but it's your choice to let it get to you. You can decide" yes, I am a monster" or "no, these are just sad, sad, close-minded people with nothing better to do than pick flaws when you are doing so much better than them". It's all your choice. I mentioned in my previous blog post about the "Queen Bee" in high school movies. She is just as insecure as you are and is trying to make herself feel better by making you feel worse. Vicious, isnt it? It is going to be hard but remember, it's your choice.
I am sure there are lots more types of bullying but I also want to take the good ol' fashioned bullying. You know, the give-me-your-lunch-money-or-I'll-beat-you-to-a-pulp kind. Sometimes it's not the weedy boy-vs-big beefy bully sort. Sometimes it's the popular kid vs anyone who isn't like him. He's got it in for everybody, and i do mean everybody. It's nothing you did, there's probably something up with his life that is making him so violent. If you are being physically bullied make sure to report. To hell with whatever you are being threatened with, your life matters so much more. Let him sit down at home on suspension and think about his life.
I wanted to put different bullying helpline numbers from different countries all over the world when I realised that even Nigeria does not have one, just one. What is that? We say we want change that we want to move forward yet we are refusing to help the young people in our country who need it. Until the country starts providing for the young, until the government starts thinking about the oppressed minorities, the poor, the children, women etc then will this country move forward. How will there be change when the young people who are supposed to create it are oppressed? I am seriously starting to consider starting a bullying organisation in Nigeria complete with helpline. but I don't want this to simply just be a dream. The problem is where to start? I am just a child but I am speaking. I don't have any money (I'm not old enough to make money out of my blog, not for another five years), but I am speaking. I am all on my own, but I am speaking. I need help to make this dream a reality so I will speak till I grab somebody's attention.
Now it has come to my attention that many Nigerian parent believe there is no such thing as "bullying". Hell yes there is. It surrounds us, nowhere, absolutely nowhere is free from the demon, the irrefutable beast that is bullying. You are being bullied in school when that girl decides that you aren't good enough so she calls you names and gossips and spreads horrible lies, she doesn't have to punch you first. You are being bullied when at work your boss says you aren't going to be promoted till you sleep with him. It doesn't always have to be violent, it just has to be harmful, deny you of your rights, or make you feel inferior, then it's no longer a harmless joke. It's bullying.
Another problem we have in Nigeria with bullying is when we make everything into bullying or turn bullying into something to be ashamed of. At the boarding school I went to after my first one there was anti bullying week every... i don't know actually. But anyway we had anti bullying week and they'd say if you are being bullied, report, but in truth no one ever does, they see it as something to be ashamed of. There are some people in my set and for privacy's sake I won't mention names. They are being bullied, I see it but I cant't do anything about it. I can't forced them to report. Why don't they report? Because often times the bullying is from setmates and they can't bear the humiliation of being unable to stand up to someone their age. That's an issue we have in Nigeria, this "if you don't fight, you're weak", mentality and a lot of bullying victims in Nigeria are scared of being stigmatized or out casted.
Then there's the issue of over doing. In the boarding school several juniors, J1 students, were visiting reporting cases of "bullying". If a senior asks you "can you fetch water for me?" you are given a choice, you can say no. It is not bullying but if you are forced or threatened it's a whole different case. Lot's of people are due to this misconception of bullying. Remember to ask your self:
1) is it hurting me?
2) is it a violation of my rights?
3) does it make me feel inferior?
If the answer is yes to at leas one of these three questions then report it.
I hope that if you are being bullied I have helped, if you ever want to talk you can send an email to thelittlethings58@gmail.com. I will reply and I am almost always ready to talk.
* ** ***
You guys, I have amazing news! The little things now has a twitter account, follow Hannah Kay05 for updates on my blog posts and extra information. Thanks. Don't forget to comment and feel free to share your bullying experiences.
I'm Hannah Kay and I'm just a teenage girl sharing the world the way she views it.
Comments
Post a Comment