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what does it mean to be suicidal?

Hey, Hannah here, When the word suicide is spoken what often first comes to mind is death. And well, while death is pretty much the most obvious thought, what most people miss out is that it’s not just taking your own life. What if I said that you don’t have to have physically tried to take your own life to be suicidal?   What would you think then? Someone once told me, a classmate of mine, that to take your own life something must be wrong. He meant not just emotionally but mentally as well, he said that something had to already be gone. I didn’t answer him, I didn’t know how to. But now that I sit here, laptop on lap, thinking about his words, I fully understand what he had said so carelessly. In a dangerous situation our natural first response is to find safety or to take it head on, it’s usually called “fight or flight” but most people already know that. I remember one time in the swimming pool when I tried to see if I could drown myself. I sat under the pool, hold...
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What it means to be a woman

Hey Hannah here, I was on Wattpad and I was reading this story-online diary sort of thing. It's called Sad girl Clapback and it's by this amazing person, Azia. If you can, follow her account; 3pointt14 ad check out her stories. Any way at the end she asked us to comment, using the tag #what'syourclapback what we think it means to be a woman. Me being me, wrote paragraphs describing what I think it means to be woman and I thought you might be interested in that. Here it is: To be a woman is to be rejected, bullied, told you don't matter. To be a woman is to spend nights alone crying into your pillow, feeling nothing but aloneness. To be a woman is to be hurt by the ones you love. To be a woman is to be insecure and to be told you're ugly and that you aren't worth it. To be a woman is to be strong. To never let anything anyone says get to you. To hurt and accept that you're hurting and accept that you've got scars from all the many battles you've...
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Twenty questions

Hey Hannah here,  I want to ask you guys some questions that I want you to really  really think about. 1) Where do you see yourself in the next ten years? 2) Are you making a difference, changing something? 3) In the next ten years what will you have achieved? 4) Why not help someone who needs it? 5) Are you doing what you love? 6) Are you the best you can be? 7)  What would you change about your life if you could?\ 8) What makes you happy? 9) What gives you a sense of achievement? 10) Who would you live for? (it may not seem like it but this is a bigger question than 11. Really think about it) 11) Who would you die for? 12) What inspires you? 13) What is your motivation? 14) What is your passion? 15) What is the reason you wake up every morning? (or  afternoon for me) 16) Why not do what you love as a career? 17) Are you an inspiration to someone else? 18) When did you last read a book? 19) What are you doing with your life? 20) Are you happy? ...
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Enlighten Our Youth

Hey, Hannah here, I was traveling today so I had to be up really early and let it just be said, I am NOT a morning person so I spent most of the car ride asleep. When I eventually woke I was bored and dizzy. I looked out the window and for the first time I saw, rally saw what growing up in the slums of Nigeria means. A few days before I had asked my mum whether Nigeria is a third wolrd country. Now obviously I knew it wasn't first world but calling it a third world country seemed like... an exaggeration. It's probably because when I travel I get so carsick I just sleep throughout or maybe it's because all my life I've always been pretty comfortable. I saw all these people struggling, trying so hard to survive and I feel so guilty for complaining that I don't like the new cereal my mum just bought. It makes me think. What if all these people were comfortable? If life was not a struggle for them? I remember back to my primary school days. I went to a catholic scho...
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#SYD and trolls

You know it's very funny the things people can say, do, when they are behind a screen. The Internet has done amazing things. Created jobs, saved and changed lives but with all good things there is a bad side. The Internet is full of trolls. People who have nothing better to do than to try to bring you down. They don't see their lives getting any better, they don't see any purpose for themselves so they try to stop you. I understand sometimes on certain social media, say Youtube, people upload content that are of poor quality or are even harmful or offensive. In such cases it is understandable to express yourself in the comment  section, I mean thats what it's for; feedback. But when you do it to harm another person, then it's wrong. It's trolling. People online say things they couldn't face to face because the have the power of anonymousity, isn't that cowardice? It  shouldn't be like that. Lot's of people get depressed because of comments like...
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Hannah's reading list for June and July

Hey, Hannah here, Looking for a good book to read? Look no further! Here's a reading list of books I guarantee are works of pure genius. Not in any particular order. 1)Memoirs of a geisha, Arthur Golden: a historical fiction based o a the life account of a Japanese geisha. In a world where appearances matter most, where a girl's virginity is auctioned to the highest bidder, where a woman is trained to beguile the most powerful men and where love is seen as nothing but an illusion a young girl Chiyo-Chan, grows and flourishes into one of the most powerful geisha.  Brilliant, a true work of art. 2)Woman at Point zero, Nawal El Saadawi:  Firdaus's story begins in a prison cell, where she accepts her death sentence as a relief from pain. Born in a peasant family, Firdaus's desire for education is ignored by her family and is forced to marry as older man. Following her escape fro violent relationships she meets Sharifa who leads her into prostitution, saying "a man ...
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Struggles with society

  Hey Hannah here, Have you ever felt like society is way too demanding? I  mean all these do's and dont's;  it gets frustrating. These are what I have face: *My grades need to be higher *My weight needs to be lower *My boobs need to be bigger *My waist needs to be smaller *My face needs to be prettier *So my friends will have to seem uglier *My hair needs to be longer *My skirt needs to be shorter I could go on and on and on about how society wants you to be this and that.  It gets so frustrating. It's just never enough. You need to be smarter but not so smart you are a smartypants, you need to talk to boys or you are too "conservative" but not or you are proud. You need to be bubbly but not so much that you are talkative. Honestly I am tired of everything. You can never seem to do anything right. More. It's always more. Society always wants more and I am sick of it.  Sick of never being enough, of always needing more, of giving...
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Making the "right" decision

Hey, Hannah here, A few days ago I made a really big decision. I was scared out of my mind and I can't believe I actually did it but I did and I have almost no regrets.  In life there are going to be hordes of huge decisions you will have to make. "Some times you make the right ones, sometimes the wrong" but I don't think there is ever a "RIGHT" or "WRONG" decision. Our actions, everything we do, influences the world around us. A choice made can be a good influence on some and a bad on others, for example: the coal industry. Shutting down the coal industry could drastically reduce the amount of pollutants thereby decreasing global warming and saving our children's children's children's lives but there are lots of poor, uneducated families whose single source of income is coal mining, they can't just pack up and look for another job, its their way of life. Now this is a major issue but it's pretty much like that.  Everyday...
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Abusive relationships, what I think

Hey,  Hannah here, A lot of women all around the world get abused every day. Whether in harmful relationships, or toxic marriages, or in the work place. A lot of women are being treated like their lives don't matter and do you know the worst part? They don't do anything about it. They allow themselves to be subdued, though they do not say it, their silence does, they are agreeing that they do not matter. Many women allow their husbands to treat them like dirt because it shows "respect". What is the deal with our tradition and respect? Respect is fine. It's great when someone respects you and it is important to show respect as well  if you want it reciprocated. In that case, respect is fine but it gets to a point when you need to draw the line. Respect is not when you allow a man to beat you because you burnt the stew (or for any reason, that was just what came to my mind), or when you allow your boss to take advantage of you. That is not respect. Stand up for ...
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The Impossible Zone

Hey, Hannah here,   Have you ever reached a time in your life when it looks like its all crumbling down and it is about to fall down and you're just like, "God, why?" Everything in your life seems to be going wrong and all you can do is to ask "why?". Why things always have to go wrong, why you can't just be happy, why life just cant be perfect. There's frustration and desperation coursing through you veins... Welcome to the impossible zone.  I watched a Ted talk video where there is this 13 year old Indian boy. In the video I watched him change Impossible to I'm possible. He was born with a condition that rendered him unable to stand or carry heavy weights it was said he would not live past a few days but he made it. He could memorise long words and their spellings as well as numbers quite easily. He started singing at a very young age and his parents took him to vocal training in both American and  Classical Indian music. He did a ragarap cove...
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#antibully

Bullying. What does the word make you think of? Maybe you imagine a small weedy boy getting hit by a big beefy boy. And in many ways the image is kind of correct but I like to think of that as "old school bullying". It seems like bullying has evolved from this, its grown bigger and uglier. People still get bullied the old fashioned way and it doesn't make that any less ugly or any less wrong. We owe a lot; jobs, lives, friendships, relationships etc to the creation of this huge amazing thing called the Internet. Without the Internet you wouldn't be able to read this blog or watch Netflix but as with all good things, something horrible has also come out of it. Cyberbullying. Kids have decided that mean pranks aren't enough, hell no, they have to take it to the next level. There is this Disney Channel show, Binny and the ghost, that I was obsessed with. It's basically about a girl that meets a ghost (surprise!) and they become an unstoppable crime solving team...
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"Why do girls wear short skirts?" he asked me.

Hey, Hannah here, One night, a boy asked me a question and it really got me thinking. After a lot of thinking I came up with an answer that I want to share with all of you. He asked "Why do girls like to wear short skirts?" In boarding school it's not uncommon for girls to ride their skirts up or fold it to make it shorter and some tighten their skirts but why? I thought really hard about it. We just want to feel beautiful, we want to be noticed, to feel loved and to love. A lot of girls go the extra length- those super tight jeans, that showy shirt, a lot wear make up just so they can feel beautiful, Everyone knows that Queen Bee in most high school movies and series. No one ever considers that maybe just maybe  she's just as insecure as the rest of us. She has tooth pick legs but no one ever considers that she's anorexic, they see that she is a bully but no one considers that maybe she is just insecure and whats to see some one else as unsure of them selves (...
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Stereotypes

Hey Hannah here, Everyone (okay maybe not everyone ) that watches medical dramas has heard of the famed House M.D. They also know that it is no longer showing on Netflix or practically anywhere else but it has been replaced it (on DSTV) with "The Good Doctor". The new series is mainly about Shaun who is an Autistic (meaning he has autism) intern. His autism meant that he was insanely smart but lacked non verbal communication skills. I watched an episode where they had a female muslim patient who came in with a burn. She said that she had the accident from cooking but Shaun noted  that her symptoms did not match her words and so came up with the conclusion that she was lying and she got the burn from a chemical used in the production of nuclear bombs (he was right but the chemical is also used to purify water) and that she was a terrorist (he was wrong). In the end it was found out that she used it to make perfume and had lied to protect her brother who was supplying her wit...
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The wild ones

Hey Hannah here, On this very planet  there  are special beings. They are not normal: they are crazy, weird, spontaneous, different, they don't fit in, they are the "losers", "geeks", those that see it differently, they are the round pegs in square holes (is that the saying? Please correct me if I'm wrong) they don't care what others think or say, they are the "rebels" that refuse to bend to societies' rules,   they are the most amazing people you'll ever meet. They are the ones who are wild enough to think they can change the world and they are the ones who do. They are the Wild Ones. They are different and right now we may make fun of them, point and call them names but years from now our children will look up and say  "Mum, i want to be just like him". They are special, they see what the rest don't, they think what the rest can't, they do what the rest are too scared to. They are brave and bold. They believe the...
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People have changed history, so can you!

Hey Hannah here, Over the years people have done great things. We have discovered, we've learnt, we've lost, we've changed or adapted to certain changes in our environment or lives, we've fought, we've loved, we've done things we never could have fathomed we could, we've written, we've saved and have changed the world to become ours. It gets to a time that we have to stop and celebrate the people that have aided our achievements. That made mistakes, learnt from it ad have helped the world become better. These people have fought and some won while others lost. Whether they won or lost matters very little all that truly matters is that they gave it a try and they learnt. Learn more about these people who made the difference. This list is in no particular order, it's just random. *Marie and Pierre Curie: Marie was a Polish born French physicist. She and her husband discovered radioactivity and the radioactive elements: polonium and radium. Durin...
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Let's talk about the "D"

Hey Hannah here, Yes, it's time. "Time for what?" you ask. It's time to talk about something we've all been hiding from, that we have repeatedly ignored time and time again, something I think we are scared of. That's right lets talk about the "D". I can practically see you confused, probably thinking "what in cheesecakes is the "D?" or you're like me, you get so sucked into what you're reading that you don't even bother to think you just keep going, your mind avidly exploring the pages as if it were a new universe. The "D" my dear readers, is Depression. We generally tend to avoid this during discussion and it's starting to make me worry that we are scared of it. You are  probably wondering why, what makes it worrying that we are scared of the "D". The thing is  yes, its not a very comfortable topic but it is necessary that we open our eyes and realise that it is a major issue in todays society an...
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The secret of influential people

Hey Hannah here, You are probably thinking, "ooh, I wonder what the big secret is, I cant wait to try it out!" It's something amazingly simple. Some call it grit, stubbornness, determination or will. I call it strength. We often look at people, people like  Ben Carson, Trevor Noah, Coco Chanel, Joyce Meyer and Oprah Winfrey, and think: "Wow, these people are so strong, they survived discrimination, poverty, molest and even rape and against all odds managed to not only survive, but thrive and become some of the most influential  people in the world today while I am barely surviving when we run out of orange juice" The truth is that what all those people up there have in common is that they've been through hell but it didn't stop them. They realised that they could sit down and allow it all to drag them down or they could stand up and make a difference, they could try to make sure that no one goes through the same things they did or they could sit arou...
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a teenage boy's guide to growing up

Hey Hannah here, Dear teenage boy, Welcome, young grasshopper. So you're growing up now, huh. Well let me give some some advice and rules to set you off on your long, long journey of self discovery and truth. Rule number one(probably the most important one); Never, ever show emotion. Come on, we all know emotions are overrated. Who the hell cares if you're broken up underneath, or if you're depressed and even suicidal? No one does, so feel free to  pretend as if everything is okay. It's a manly thing to do isn't it? Don't ever look sad, not very manly, is it? Remember,big boys don't cry. It doesn't matter if at the end you commit suicide, at least at your burial people can say: "He was such an emotionless boy, very manly too." "Nobody knew him but at least he was manly." "Depressed, but at least he was manly." "He never once cried, how manly!" That's what they'll remember you for, manliness. Sounds...
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Life in the litle things

Hey, Hannah here, What is life? What is it about birth or holding a new born in your arms that is so remarkable? When I look at nature, at a new born, or see people smiling true sincere smiles, or when someone I care for is weak, vulnerable or at a low, one word that comes to mind is " life ".    Scientists say that life is the ability to feed, move, reproduce, to sense changes in environment and respond to stimuli, to be able to pass out waste, to respire and to grow. To me that is the definition to the word "life" but life, as in life in its artistic form or its true self holds so much more meaning than that its more significant than simply the ability to grow. It's about feelings, the little things, being yourself, love.   L ife is beauty, it's moments of strength, moments of weakness, moments of nothingneness; where everything is pointless and everywhere looks bleak, and moments of everything; where everything is perfect, when you have this feeling in...
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Death and the afterlife

Hey, Hannah here, Death. We fear it. We run away away from it. We question it. We let it consume us. Yet we do not know what it is. Over the years we have come up with so many ideas, different opinions about it, different ideas about it, yet we do not know for sure  exactly what death is. We cannot explain what happens during death or after but we try because we have made death into a force that needs to be explained, that needs a reason for being.  Scientists say that during the last moments of your life your brain plays back memories those sweet times in your life that you truly cherished, those moments spent with those who really matter. They say that(do correct me if I'm wrong) we, everything about us is basically in our brains (I've thought too hard about this way too many times) our emotions are a result of the brain reacting to certain hormones so when our brains finally die that would mean we stop feeling. Our brains are dead, our bodies start decaying and that is t...
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